An Introduction:
I’ve said something similar before, just don’t remember if it was on my Facebook timeline or in response to something else on Facebook, but in reading posts about how people are dealing with this, it dawned on me, this is an introduction. This is something for the young, maybe not so young, healthy, non-disabled people out there, who are not use to being cooped up, to think about:
The Perspective:
Consider this:
The suddenness of your not being able to go where you want, when you want, the way you want, imposed by an unseen virus that just swooped right in and stole your freedom, limited your motion, etc. (I know you get the point, we’re all going through it). This is all your introduction to suddenly finding yourself disabled.
Whether it be because your body suddenly, (or even not so suddenly, but you are ignoring the warning signs, as I did), betrays you and won’t do what it use to do. Suddenly discovering after you drank and drove and had that accident, and lost bodily functions because of it…I think you can see where I’m going with this: This is the life that those of us who are disabled go through when it first hits us.
It’s depressing. It’s a difficult adjustment. It’s hell trying to figure out what the heck to do with yourself and the pent up energy, that eventually fades from lack of use, because frankly, things just hurt too damn much. This is the beginning being a guinea pig for doctors and pharmaceutical companies. This is where many become drug addicts to get away from the pain and depression. This where some who didn’t have a drinking problem before develop one.
Not everyone can make the adjustment, I’ve been dealing with it for 8 years now, and I’m still trying to adjust without turning to alcohol or prescription medications. In doing so, I can easily see why some people turn to those routes. Pain management without the extra help is hell on earth on a bad day. It’s hard. It sucks. It’s frustrating on a good day. It’s tiring. It’s really similar to what everyone is going through with the social distancing and stay at home directives we’ve been given. Why do I say it’s similar? Because I’ve been doing this for 8 years now. I saw it coming three weeks ago when we were all first asked to stay home if we can. I knew what everyone was going to feel like. 8 years ago I went from a fully over active 53 year old to a I can barely move at times 53 year old in a blink of an eye (well for me it was also a step down a steep step when it hit, but my point is, it hit me quick and with little warning).
I had stuff to do, places to be, people to see. I rarely slowed down. I thought I had time to get my retirement money together, I thought I’d have a grand adventure after I retired. My plan was to be a very active, life living senior.
Life throws us curve balls, bumps in the road, and all out detours. Now is a really good time to think about how, when this is all over, you are going to be better prepared for the next curve ball, bump in the road, and (not or) all out detour that WILL happen in your lifetime.
Something Else To Think About:
Also, please try to look at life a bit differently when this is all over:
The next time you get impatient with a disabled person, regardless of who they are to you, please remember this:
Once upon a time, they were just like you! However, just like this Covid-19 has been thrust upon you, and forced you to live your life differently for now, they have gone through that same forced adjustment period, though probably for a lot longer than you will have to deal with the Covid-19 issues (and many cases still trying to adjust to it). For you, this is more than likely just a temporary “disabiltity”, but for them it’s permanent.
Some Unsolicited Advice:
For some of us disabled seniors, it’s difficult to admit our limitations, because we are fighting a battle against those limitations. We don’t want to give up yet, or feel like we are surrendering. Some might be snippy when you try to help them. Try asking if you can help. It might take you a little longer to get to where you are going or to achieve what you are trying to achieve. They will let you know if you can help them or not.
And if they aren’t nice about it, smile and know it’s not you, it’s them and their own battle with themselves.
If they seem hesitant, know that it’s because they know they need help, but they just don’t know how to accept it, partly because they don’t quite know what it is they need help with, (though right now it’s probably just buying toilet paper), or how to accept it without betraying themselves in the battle that they fight within themselves on a daily (usually minute by minute) basis.
From The Adventures of T Counce 